Photog Twinkie Mom Blog I

September 16, 2016  •  Leave a Comment

My friends, 

If you are reading this I thank you. I fear for people when they get to see inside my head. Writing is a glimpse inside my head and I've always found it to be enjoyable. I do not always find time to accomplish the task. I'm a stay at home mom, so there's lots of time right? Well technically I run a small photography business, I run a household because I have a traveling husband (when I say household I mean the garden outside too that never gets the care it needs), speaking of traveling I act as husband's secretary from time to time, a few other various hats, and 24 hours a day I'm a mom. They go to preschool two days a week for 5 hours each of those days. So basically I have 10 hours to myself to get things done I can't do with two toddlers. 

We all wear the numerous hats and care for different people in our life. People with only one kid ask all the time "how do you do it?" I don't know how the people with 6 kids do it. How do you work a night shift every day? How do you manage to work 40+ hours a week, drive your kids to sports after school, find time for homework and dinner? 

How do we do it?

The saying "God doesn't give us more than we can handle." How many of us have questioned that some days too? 

I remember the girls were about 3 weeks old and I dreaded the nights. The long painful nights were I didn't get to sleep. Husband had a work meeting the next day so he was going in the other room to sleep. I laid on the bed holding both girls. One in my arm, one on my chest and I just cried. Cried hard because I didn't know how I could manage to survive the night alone. I was so exhausted. That is one of my few memories around that first 6 months. Most of the first two years of my kid's lives are filled with blurs. Not sleeping was ruining my brain. My ability to function as a human in society. Determined to do it on my own. 

My kids are 3 now and they sleep so long that they aren't sick. Mostly. I look back and I wonder if maybe I had cashed in my 401k and paid a night nannie I'd remember my kids first two years. Someone to sleep train them, or something. Paid a night and day nannie, and went back to work, how would our lives be today. I don't regret my decisions to do it on my own, I'm just wondering. I'm a terrible village person, but I'm trying to learn to except all the help I can get. Maybe if I'd been better about that early on I wouldn't have stayed so tired. It's hard to change who we are though. 

I'm an independent sole and it's taken years to be okay with my husband being the sole income and provider. I do so much and really I never stop. Literally working around the clock. I've seen my husband after leaving him with the kids for an afternoon. He couldn't handle every day around the clock. This life works for us right now.

These are the realities of our lives. Full of wonder, what ifs, and looking forward to what today holds. Learning as we go to make our tomorrow better. 

The 3 year old twinkies are simply my new favorite. They fight, they cry, they whine, they are full of smiles, laughter, starting to question, making their own opinions, helpers, care takers, animal lovers, full of kindness, kissing others boo boos, causing boo boos, swimming, talking your ear off, being sassy, watching crazy shows and movies, and they are simply just the best.  I loved each stage before, but today is my new favorite stage. 

Here's a few images from their first day of 3's class at preschool. They've grown 3' inches since this time last year. They've grown exponentially in our hearts. 

Don't fear the tomorrows. Embrace the change that's going to happen and has to happen. It's okay to miss it from time to time, and I know I will sing a different tune when I'm watching them graduate and move out of the home. But I can't fear and worry about what will come, because it's going to come. We just stop and enjoy today for tomorrow it will be our memories.  

Carpe diem. Everything can be fun times spent together. Yesterday we washed the dogs together. Today we'll go to Sam's Club and for a swim. But the important part is we are doing it together. 

 

 

 


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